Today's reading from My Utmost For His Highest struck a chord. A truth chord, if you will. Now, I've been ready through My Utmost on a daily basis for the past 5 years, at least. It was a gift from my Aunt Rita on my 21st birthday. Often, as I read Chambers' words, I will pray that what has been written will be made true in my own life. But there are those occasional days when I think he's speaking specifically of my life. God has used this book to speak truth and bring healing to me an a number of occasions over the past 5 years. I can mark those events by the pages in My Utmost. Today's excerpt was one of those times.
In my previous post I shared my thoughts on having moved to Dallas recently. How I don't feel so brave, but am willing to accept some notion of courage in making such a transition. That post is the backdrop for Chambers' words that so struck home this morning.
Will you go out without knowing?
"He went out, not knowing where he was going" (Hebrews 11:8)
Have you ever "gone out" in this way? If so, there is no logical answer possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the most difficult questions to answer in Christian work is, "What do you expect to do?" You don't know what you are going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually examine your attitude toward God to see if you are willing to "go out" in every area of your life, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in constant wonder, because you don't know what God is going to do next. Each morning as you wake, there is a new opportunity to "go out," building your confidence in God. "...do not worry about your life...nor about the body..." (Luke 12:22). In other words, don't worry about the things that concerned you before you did "go out."
Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do -- He reveals to you who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you "go out" in complete surrender to Him until you are not surprised one iota by anything He does?
Believe God is always the God you know him to be when you are nearest to Him. Then think how unnecessary and disrespectful worry is! Let the attitude of your life be a continual willingness to "go out" in dependence upon God, and your life will have a sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is very satisfying to Jesus. You must learn to "go out" through your convictions, creeds, or experiences until you come to the point in your faith where there is nothing between yourself and God.
I have gone out without knowing where I was going. Sure, I knew the name of the place and it's location on a map, but I went not knowing the area, not knowing the people, and not knowing what was waiting for me. I'm still going out, not knowing. And I still can't answer the question, "What are you going to do?" My response sounds silly, and sometimes naive, because all I can say is, "I don't know."
I ask God nearly every day what He's going to do. I also ask Him what it is that He wants me to do. He wants me to know Him. He wants me to surrender to Him. He wants me to trust Him, not just in Him. That's as much as I know, and for me, that's enough. Not to say they are easy tasks, because they're not. There is still plenty between me and God...plenty of me between me and God. But that is changing the more I "go out."