Saturday, August 15, 2009

Straight from the movies

Since breaking up with Shane I've been much happier, and have found myself freer to experience life, including dating. I've now been on two dates since the end of my previous relationship. It's been good to get out and meet new people. Well, one new. Tonight's date was with a man I've known for roughly 2 years, but haven't seen in nearly a year. It was an amazing night. Most definitely the most fun I've ever had on a date. He did everything a man is supposed to do on a date. He planned it, and prepared for it, he picked me up, he opened doors (including the truck door), he paid, and best yet, he paid attention. We spent 4 and a half hours together, with nearly constant conversation. And the conversation varied, from funny, to serious, no subject was untouchable. We laughed so much together, happily playing off each other's remarks and quirks. When he brought me home we ended up hugging three times before he walked out the door, the last included a kiss on my cheek. But what happened next was like a scene straight out of a movie. I was in the doorway, watching him walk to his truck, exhorting him to drive home safely, when he stopped and asked how he should get out from where he was, where to go to get back to the freeway. I started to explain, stepping outside so as to not feel like I was yelling. As I was explaining, he was walking towards me, with purpose. Then he was right in front of me, all of a sudden grabbing me and kissing me. Imagine a movie scene where the guy just grabs and kisses the girl. Yea, that's just what it was like. Intense, as though if he didn't kiss me then, he was never going to. When he pulled away he told me he didn't hear a word I'd said, and would figure it out. I could only laugh and say ok. And as we were walking away from each other, I had to admit, he'd made a very smooth move. My knees are still weak, and my head is still spinning. I never thought that kind of thing happened in real life. I guess I was wrong.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Difficult decisions

I like this guy, who is very sweet, and seems to be a good fit for me. We get along, and so far it seems we are able to talk about almost anything. Unfortunately we don't talk about the one thing that is probably the most important thing, and the thing I'm most passionate about....Jesus. I realized recently that we had never talked about anything of faith. I knew he attended church and was active in a community group, but did he have a personal relationship with God? If so why don't we ever talk about it?

After getting over the excitement of this being something new with potential, I'm beginning to remember those crucial important list items. Mainly, that I want to be with a man who is passionate about God first and foremost. I want to be able to share with him what God is teaching me, when I need prayer for things, or am struggling with something. I want to be able to have discussions about the Bible and theology. Ministry is a huge part of my life, and I can't truly share that with someone who doesn't understand. Second, I want to be a man who is passionate about me, second to God. I want to be with someone who adores me, who can't wait to talk to me or see me, and can't help but tell me how much he likes & enjoys me.

These things I don't get from this guy, and they're two of the most important "wants" on my list. I know what I should do, but it's still hard to do. The prospect of a relationship with someone who is even remotely interested in me has a big draw for me. However, I know I am not willing to settle. I need to speak up, and prepare to move on.