Wednesday, December 28, 2011

New Beginnings

"And yet I know artists who medium is life itself, and to express the inexpressible without brush, pencil, chisel, or guitar. They neither paint nor dance. Their medium is Being. Whatever their hand touches has increased life. They see and don't have to draw. They are the artists of being alive." ~Frederick Frank

I've been told I'm brave for making such a huge change, for going where I basically don't know anyone, but I don't feel brave. In fact, despite the knowledge and confidence that this is where God has called me to be; despite the reality that He has guided my every step and opened doors I could not, I sit in wonder. I question the purpose, His purpose. I have learned from experience that it is easier to obey and trust than it is to try to do what He asks on my own terms. But it is also hard to let go of other elements of those experiences. To let go of disappointments and, ultimately, fear. It is a challenge to not give in to fear. These fears are irrational, given God's evidences of them being unfounded. He has yet to let me down. The disappointments I speak of are my own let downs, the failing of my expectations not of God's plans or purposes.

For some picking up and moving half-way across the country, to an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people, where they truly know no one, with no notion of what is waiting for them, would be paralyzing. Shoot, the Israelites had to wait 80 years before entering the Promise Land, a place which God Himself told them to possess, because of their fear. Well, I don't know if I'd consider it brave, but I'll take courageous.

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." ~Ambrose Redmoon

God's call and direction, His glory are definitely more important than fear. So there are a lot of unknowns, so what? It only took God three days to put everything in place for me to get here. Clearly He has a plan, and His timing is perfect....always.