Friday, February 6, 2009

Difficult decisions

I like this guy, who is very sweet, and seems to be a good fit for me. We get along, and so far it seems we are able to talk about almost anything. Unfortunately we don't talk about the one thing that is probably the most important thing, and the thing I'm most passionate about....Jesus. I realized recently that we had never talked about anything of faith. I knew he attended church and was active in a community group, but did he have a personal relationship with God? If so why don't we ever talk about it?

After getting over the excitement of this being something new with potential, I'm beginning to remember those crucial important list items. Mainly, that I want to be with a man who is passionate about God first and foremost. I want to be able to share with him what God is teaching me, when I need prayer for things, or am struggling with something. I want to be able to have discussions about the Bible and theology. Ministry is a huge part of my life, and I can't truly share that with someone who doesn't understand. Second, I want to be a man who is passionate about me, second to God. I want to be with someone who adores me, who can't wait to talk to me or see me, and can't help but tell me how much he likes & enjoys me.

These things I don't get from this guy, and they're two of the most important "wants" on my list. I know what I should do, but it's still hard to do. The prospect of a relationship with someone who is even remotely interested in me has a big draw for me. However, I know I am not willing to settle. I need to speak up, and prepare to move on.