Thursday, November 20, 2008
Too Many Emotions
I don't know if there's really such a thing as too many emotions, but that's certainly how I feel right now. Like there're too many emotions flowing through my heart, mind & body. There's some excitement and nervousness at the prospect of a growing friendship. He certainly has been trying to hang out more, despite my inadvertent destroyer like attempts at shooting him down. I don't want to shoot him down, I want to spend time with him and get to know him. I'm trying to be better about compromising so that there is time to give to him. I'm still not sure what I think about him, because I don't know him. I do have a good time, usually, when I'm with him. He's entertaining at least, and I seem to be able to make him laugh. He doesn't mind my sarcastic, witty nature, which is a plus. I'm working really hard to let him take the lead, put forth the effort. If he really wants to spend time with me, get to know me, he'll keep trying. I don't have to constantly try to make something work. I need to be available, as best I can, but be ready to come up with an alternative when the first choice doesn't work. I'm trying to let him pursue me, if that's what he's wanting to do. Lord let me stay so.